This is for all those people who do not snore. I am
convinced that snoring is very similar to passive smoking. The passive snorer
is worse off than the active one. While the smoker smokes, he knows he’s going
to die anyway, gives a damn and continues to billow wisps of smoke like a
chimney, blissfully unaware of the person who breathes in passively. It’s in
your face, nose, everywhere. Same with snorers. They snore on blissfully
unaware of the fact that they make enough noise to keep up everyone in the house.
They never realize how loud they actually are and never understand how they are
not as rhythmic as they think.
Snorers are of different types. There are the soft
snorers, who aren’t so bad, they just breathe louder than normal people, and I
can live with that. Then there are the loud snorers and then the ones who
choose between soft and loud, depending on ‘your’ level of sleep, mind you.
Then there are the snorers who snore at different levels, loud, soft, long,
short, abrupt, and expectant. Most importantly, there are the snorers in
denial. They will not accept that they snore. NO NO NO!! They believe that they
sleep so lightly that they will wake up if they snore themselves. It’s a good
excuse…
I believe after many years of listening to snoring,
that snorers are great sleep conversationalists. They are conversing, while
they sleep. When it’s a short snore, it’s like asking a question. This snore
can be equalled to a ‘huh?’ When it’s an abrupt snore, it shows surprise like
‘ha!!’ Then there is happiness in the form a loud long, long snore, then the
settling snore, where the sleeper is at peace, with his ceaseless, rhythmic
snoring.
Coming from a family of snorers, I did not realize how
bad everyone was until; I travelled with them, all together in an AC
compartment of a train. Now, you feel cosy and nice, wrapped in your blanket
looking forward to a blissful sleep ahead. Alas, this thought is short-lived
despite these compartments being so quiet, till all the uncles settle in for
the night. Then the loud one, the abrupt one, they all seem to have a unique
style. Forget the sleep, get a book. Can you read? Really? Fat chance!! It’s so
distracting you have to put the book down to listen.
Our train was late and we expected to reach much later
in the day, but surprisingly it reached early. The secret being that was
because the train driver never slept, because he has to listen to the snoring!
So, all the passengers should have given credit to my family but alas, none can
understand the effort it takes to snore.
I stayed up too, to observe the various tones, rhymes
and the poetry in motion, though I think many wives would find it a tad boring
since they are entertained in this fashion every night. Maybe the family could
put together a music album. Anyway, now I know why all my aunts have dark
circles, it’s not because they are worrying about how we cousins turned out,
but their husbands’ effective snoring.
So cheers to you all, my uncles who dare their wives’
glares and everybody else’s for a fitful night of sleep. A talent yet
unrecognized, may you be popular!! In another continent, I hope.
Might get killed... so well...ahem...
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